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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666169">Quiet Contemplation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LozB4/pseuds/LozB4'>LozB4</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Awkward Flirting, Cold, Cole (Dragon Age) Being Cole, Dorian Pavus in Love, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Helpful Cole (Dragon Age), M/M, Minor Character Death, Oblivious Dorian Pavus, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Post-War Table Operation: Protect Clan Lavellan (Dragon Age), Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:14:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LozB4/pseuds/LozB4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All the times Dorian finds himself watching his Inquisitor in moments of peace before or after the storm, or sometimes during, and usually Frey catching him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Is this flirtation or just fantasy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Shortly after joining the inquisition Dorian goes in search of the Herald for company but finds him nestled in a quiet corner of Haven which lets him see the mighty Herald of Andraste at peace for once leading him to the rather shocking discovery that he can in fact have feelings of love towards someone, or more specifically towards an antisocial Herald.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Dorian saw the Herald of Andraste it was in a blur of heroism and green. Indeed in all the times he saw the Herald after that he was doing something majestic like ordering troops about, foiling Alexius' plots and pillaging the Hinterlands of Red Templars, Apostates and bandits. In short. He was quite magnificent. That's what drew him towards the Herald, that and the flirting. But what held him there was the Frey he saw underneath the leader. </p><p>A few weeks after joining the inquisition Dorian leaves the small hut they gave him to call home for the time being. He's determined to find at least someone to talk to, lest he cave and talk to the bald elf mage again who spoke as if he was a god himself. </p><p>It was always Dorian's intention to find Frey first. Considering they got stuck in Alexius' horrible future together, he is certain they already count as friends. </p><p>He expects to have to pull the elf away from mountains of reports gifted by his advisors but instead he finds Frey settled in a small nook of the chantry. He imagines most would pass by obliviously as would Dorian were it not for the strength of Frey's magic that Dorian can feel pulling on his own. </p><p>Frey himself doesn't notice the other mage's presence as he is transfixed with the book he pours over, flicking the pages back and forth every few seconds as if he is trying to understand what was on the previous page with the new information. </p><p>Instead of the mighty Herald who walked from the fade, all Dorian can see now is a young man who has probably never had this type of responsibility foisted on him before, even if he was a Keeper's first. He's just a boy really, there's no way he's more than twenty years old and the innocence of a child still clings to him although it is being prised away with the darkness and corruption of war. </p><p>He looks so content, Dorian muses. Even hundreds and hundreds of miles from home, surrounded by people who not long ago demanded his death, in the worship place of a religion he doesn't believe him and yet he is happy. Perhaps the Dalish are not all the tight, self worshiping people he's been raised to expect.</p><p>Dorian has never considered the Herald as anything more than a mighty ally who likes to flirt, until now. Now he sees him for what he is. A pure soul, worth cherishing and protecting, someone to spend hours on end with, just to hear the sound of their voice or the blessed tinkle of laughter. Dorian hasn't felt that way about anyone for a long time and just the knowledge of that causes a curl of excitement to spread through him. And also fear, love is a heavy responsibility. Love? Where did that come from? Surely he can't love a man he just met... And yet, another glance at Lavellan tells him he can, or he can begin to. </p><p>It also occurs to him that if Frey has stuffed himself into the smallest space possible, in a Chantry nobody expects him to spend any great lengths of time in, he probably doesn't want to talk. So with that in mind Dorian turns with a tiny sigh and retreats away, resigning to the fact he's going to have to talk to Solas again. </p><p>"Dorian?" Frey's voice catches him and he turns back to face the elf who is smiling at him with a quizzical quirk of the eyebrow. </p><p>"Ah Herald I was just- on my way to look for uhh... Wine- yes wine." A beautiful frown wrinkles across Frey's marked forehead, </p><p>"Dorian... Wouldn't they keep that in the tavern?" </p><p>"Ah... Yes. That would be the reasonable place to keep wine." Frey places the book down on his lap and looks at Dorian properly. </p><p>"So what are you really here for?"</p><p>"You're very perceptive for someone who accidentally picked up a very magical orb and cursed himself with a green hand." </p><p>"You think its a curse?" Frey asks, instinctively clenching his left hand and tucking it into his robes, his head tilted down in a sudden disappointment that makes Dorian feel like he just kicked a thousand puppies. </p><p>"In the sense of magic no I think it is a gift but honestly for fashion. Just a nightmare. Imagine trying to match anything to green."</p><p>A smile splits across Frey's face as he untucks his hand then says, "I've never been much of one for fashion. Sorry. You'll have to put up with my ghastly outfits and colour co-ordination."</p><p>"Oh I dare say I'll muddle through. I'll let your face distract me." </p><p>That pretty blush that Dorian has come to crave seeing appears across the elf's tanned skin and he ducks his head then asks, "So did you come to flirt with me?"</p><p>"Not entirely. Truly I just hoped for someone to speak to who isn't Solas." That gets another smile out of Frey as Dorian continues, "Don't get me wrong he seems alright but he's..."</p><p>"A bit much? I know. Please sit- uhh somewhere." He looks around for somewhere for the Tevintar to seat himself but Dorian shakes his head. </p><p>"Alas as fun flirting with you is, you were quite content before I came along please don't let me disturb you. Nobody hides in a chantry for want of company."</p><p>Dorian begins to turn away again but Frey says, "Dorian wait please- I'm not hiding from everyone- just the ambassador, spymaster and general. Sometimes I tell them I'm going on a trip to collect herbs just so I can read my book. Selfish as it is with the world ending I know. Although I'm sure Leliana knows I'm here but just indulges me. How did you know- nobody has found me before?"</p><p>"I can often feel another mage's presence because of the magic. Its like a map to me. And always unique. Yours is a thrum of power, when you're using it, it feels like the whole world is vibrating. Its taken my breath away on numerous occasions, though that may be just you." He checks Frey's face for a reaction but doesn't truly have one, the elf is watching him with a calm expression, curiosity tinging the edge of his smile but his eyes hold a warmth that he's not seen from the elf before. </p><p>Just as quickly as he sees it Frey blinks and the soft smile turns into a smirk. "I knew you came to flirt with me."</p><p>"But the real question is- is it working?" The blush spreads darker over Frey's face but to his credit he doesn't cave into pile of stumbling words like many of Dorian's previous flirtations. </p><p>"That depends on the desired effect." He offers Dorian a cheeky smirk combined with a head tilt. </p><p>"Oh you are good."</p><p>"I've been told." That's when the Herald actually breaks and cracks up into laughter that echoes around the empty chamber and is quickly combined with Dorian's. "That's a lie. My whole clan would tell you I'm the most awkward, stuttering mess around anyone remotely attractive." </p><p>"Well I must say given your previous smoothness- that's quite a blow to my attractiveness." Frey laughs again, shaking his head fondly. "Being told I can control an army, make decisions that affect the world and close tears in the fade has made me a tad more confident. I figure if I can do all that without the world imploding I can talk to a very handsome man." </p><p>"A wise decision really." </p><p>"I thought so." Dorian is just feeling out of place again when Frey must realise and stumbles over his words in his eagerness to say, "Have you read this book before? I'm trying to make sense of it. But common tongue is my second language and before all the reports I started getting I was barely literate in it." </p><p>Reaching out Dorian takes the book from Frey, their fingers brushing for a few seconds and its like a spark of lightening down his arm. Frey clearly feels it too because he curls his hand back to his chest, testing his fingers then looking expectantly at Dorian who is looking over the book.</p><p>"I've read this one several times, sit I'll explain." Joy splits across Frey's face as he eagerly sits down on the floor, letting Dorian have the seat and listening avidly as Dorian's rich velvet voice explains the meaning of the world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Guide Me Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After the breach is closed Dorian finds the Herald watching over the celebrations but not joining it. In his musing about the Herald, Dorian hears him mutter a string of Elvish which of course he doesn't understand until later, after the Herald has toppled an avalanche on himself and Dorian sits by his bedside waiting for him to wake up, the elf repeats the same words in his sleep only this time Solas is there to pointedly translate.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The joyful laughter and exclamations of joy can probably be heard right across the valley that Haven sits in. Above him the sky is healed, still scarred but healed. All thanks to the one man Dorian can't seem to find. All the other members of the inner circle are outside by the fire, dancing and drinking, even Solas is smiling but Frey is nowhere to be seen. </p><p>Eventually he finds the elf sitting on the stonewall at the top of Haven, there is a bottle in his hand but a quick glance tells that the Herald has barely touched it. He doesn't look angsty or worried, in fact he looks calm. So why is he alone? </p><p>Perhaps it is because he is alone that he is calm. Over the weeks with the Inquisition, Dorian has noticed that Frey tends to slink off into the background once his role as Herald is done for the day, once all the reports are looked over, the war council directed to their tasks and the inner circle satisfied, Frey often returns to the same nook that Dorian first found him. At first he thought it was because it was the only warm dry place the elf could find but in his wanderings Dorian has come to realise there are many places Frey could vanish too, if he truly wished to become invisible. </p><p>Of course Frey himself actually had to be the one to tell Dorian he wanted his company which left Dorian stammering and stuttering, which in turn shocked the mage because usually he was as smooth as silk. But with just a simple smile that elf left him a mess. </p><p>Dorian continues watching Frey, he contemplates clearing his throat to announce his arrival but the elf seems too peaceful to disturb. He's beautiful like this Dorian thinks. He can still feel Frey's magic thrumming, it was stronger all the way back from closing the breach, the residual mage magic humming around him. If Dorian thought he was entrancing before its overwhelming now, it feels like Frey's magic is flowing through his veins and spreading tingling across his skin. Is it because he is so powerful? Or because he has so much power over him? </p><p>At this stage Dorian has no use in denying the fact that he would indeed do anything for the Herald. Not just because of the flirtation and the promise of love to come. He is positive all the inner circle stand ready to give their all to help him. </p><p>Frey shifts slightly and looks up at the stars that are partly concealed by thin clouds. A small string of Elvish escapes his lips then he smiles a little, "So are you going to speak to me or stare?" </p><p>Indignantly Dorian tries to think up an excuse but fails, saying nothing as he sits by Frey and gazes across the party below. "How did you know I was there. I was especially quiet."</p><p>"Ever since you mentioned feeling my magic I've been trying it. I practised on Lady Vivienne a lot. She didn't appreciate it. So I practised on Solas and he told me I was doing it wrong. Eventually Fiona let me practise with her. Now I can just feel it, its like... Water rushing in a stream far away."</p><p>"Impressive. Its a hard skill to master. Tell me what does my magic feel like to you?"</p><p>"Nothing like Solas described. He said yours felt like fire, hot and rash. When I'm with you it feels like a cool breeze."</p><p>"Has anyone told you that you're quite poetic? The things you say. Sometimes they make me feel like so much more than an evil Tevintar magister."</p><p>"You're not a magister." Frey says, his attention pulled off to the valley with a frown.</p><p>"That wasn't the part you needed to argue my dear." Dragging his attention back to Dorian, Frey smiles, resting a small hand on top of Dorian's and once again lightening sparks between them yet neither pays it any mind. </p><p>"You are the furthest thing from evil Dorian." </p><p>Behind them there is a sharp cough and both jump, indignantly turning to face Cassandra who rolls her eyes as Frey whispers, "Do all my inner circle like watching me from afar?" </p><p>Without responding the seeker walks over, nodding to Dorian then saying, "May I have a minute with the Herald?"</p><p>"If you insist but I have to say I feel robbed. I want him back you know seeker." </p><p>"Yes yes you can continue flirting later."</p><p>Later turns out not to happen as the army of Red Templars crest the hill and Dorian spends the next five hours defending Haven alongside Frey, Sera and Cassandra. </p><p>Just as Frey finishes painstakingly twisting the catapult mechanism he pauses, the strain obvious on his face as he shouts over the sounds of battle. "All three of you go, get out of here. We don't all need to be here."</p><p>"Herald we need you alive. Let one of us launch the catapult!" Cassandra shouts, </p><p>"No! My job here is done. The breach is fine I'm just an elf in the wrong place now. And if I die saving Haven's people then the world will be as it should be. I was meant to die at the conclave." </p><p>Dorian rushes back close to him, hissing out. "Not to burst your naïve innocent bubble but there is an army attacking us. The world isn't done with you yet."  </p><p>One of Frey's hands slips off the mechanism, touching Dorian's arm briefly as his deep brown eyes lock to Dorian's pale blue ones. "Please help them escape. They'll need a mage. Dorian please. For me." </p><p>"I won't forgive you for this." That familiar smile spreads across Frey's face. </p><p>"I know. Now go. Go!" </p><p>Dorian looks back a few times as they sprint through Haven to get to the secret pass, he can see the dragon homing in on the catapult. On Frey.  And he is tempted to go back and risk it all but he can imagine the disappointment and sadness in the elf's eyes that masked the actual happiness he felt. Frey always looked happy when he saw Dorian. And Dorian liked that. So he keeps going, climbing after Cassandra until they reach the top of the pass. But by the time they turn Haven isn't there anymore. Just a pile of snow with a dragon screeching at it. </p><p>With a thick cloak wrapped around him Dorian paces the camp they've set up at the bottom of the mountains. From a safe distance Varric mutters, "We should get sparkler to pace us paths in the snow. Would that work?" </p><p>Cassandra just sighs, looking over at the mage. "Dorian save your strength."</p><p>The Tevintar mage just pauses slightly before resuming his quick footsteps. "I am. I'm keeping my heat up- don't you think we should go back and look for him."</p><p>"Dorian... He dropped an avalanche on himself."</p><p>"Yes and he walked out of the fade. We've established he's a very incredible man lets go get him." Cassandra just sighs, shaking her head again and looking out into the snow with a bleak expression</p><p>Dorian himself is the one who starts the search for Frey that ends successfully as the elf practically stumbles into his arms and lets out a happy grin. "I found you!" With the joy that surges through him at the sight of the elf, Dorian can't muster a smart reply, instead holding onto the elf and making sure he is solid and not a part of his hopeful imagination. </p><p>Frey's shaking hand finds Dorians face as he lets out a little whimper. "So cold." And he is, his lips are a deep shade of blue and his tanned skin ashy. </p><p>Without a moment of hesitation Dorian sweeps off his cloak, wrapping it around Frey's small shoulders and then lifting Frey's left arm up to drape over his shoulder. Cullen takes his other arm and Frey slumps between them, mumbling of a tall bird man before going quiet aside from mutterings of being cold. </p><p>Under the rouse of keeping him up Dorian holds his left hand in his, it is bright with the glow of the anchor, sparking every few seconds but the power of each spark is gradually fading as the Herald gets weaker. He is asleep by the time they reach the camp and with Vivienne's help they bundle him into a bed, wrapped in all the blankets that can be spared.  </p><p>"Can anything be done?" Dorian asks her as she rests a hand over Frey's forehead. </p><p>However she just laughs, patting the top of the herald's glossy charcoal hair, "He'll be fine darling. Sit with him if you wish. He just needs to sleep it off." </p><p>Dorian does sit with him, brushing that beautiful black hair back from where it has fallen over his smooth tanned skin, intermingling with his vallaslin, an ode to Mythal as Dorian understands from one of Frey's late night explanations of the Dalish ways. </p><p>Outside he watches as the advisors argue over what to do next, Frey seems so peaceful in comparison, occasionally a smile will spread across his lips as he dreams, his eyes flickering behind closed eyelids as he mumbles out in Elven again, the same words he said earlier in the evening that seems so long ago now. </p><p>Knowing Solas is nearby he asks in the elf's general direction, "Do you know what he said?"</p><p>With the smoothness of a spirit Solas drifts over, leaning on a tentpole as he watches over them both. "It is a Dalish prayer I believe. The language of our people has become torn through our differences but from the similar words, I gather he asks the gods to guide him home." With a pointed look at Dorian's hand on top of Frey's head Solas finishes, "The true question is, to what home is he asking the gods to guide him to."</p><p>Dorian chuckles at the elf's vagueness, "Well I'd imagine that would be the free marches wouldn't it. He misses the Dalish." </p><p>With a scoff and an eyeroll Solas mutters something that sounds remarkably like, "Andraste help us all."</p><p>"Alright I must be bad if you're praying to a god you don't believe in. Do tell me what home do you refer to?" </p><p>The elf freezes as if he can't believe the question that just escaped Dorian before he then rapidly looks between Dorian's hand on the inquisitor's head and Dorian himself, and seemingly this is the only answer he is willing to offer because he walks away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mother Hen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After watching the Inquisitor run himself ragged whilst attending to every need of the Inquisition, Dorian takes it upon himself to arrange the Inquisitor a night of peace, to which Frey inevitably invites him to.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Slightly angsty and they still aren't together yet I promise that is happening next, it just needed setting up that Dorian is completely head over heals for Frey now</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the move to Skyhold, Dorian could never expect to be the centre of the new Inquisitor's attention, though he did watch on proudly as Frey lifted the sword that was possibly the same height as himself. In the days to come after that the Inquisitor was always sprinting between the war room and his inner circle who seemed to have inconveniently spread themselves as far as possible within the confines of Skyhold. </p><p>Indeed numerous times he almost jumped for joy when he could hear Frey's free marches accent in the tower below talking to Solas but the door would always close again and he would be gone, visible running down the steps towards Cassandra or off down the great hall into the War Room. </p><p>Dorian didn't begrudge him for his abandonment, how could he when all he really wanted to do was worry over the elf like a mother hen. In all the places he'd seen Frey run, his own chambers were not included on the list neither day nor night and it was gradually beginning to show on him. </p><p>And so Dorian decided it was his duty as the Inquisitor's.... Whatever he was. He was going to make Frey rest if it killed him. </p><p>The first step in his master plan was to round up the inner circle and ask them, for one night only to leave the Inquisitor alone unless he asked for their company for drinking or reading or target practice (Dorian hoped Blackwall would volunteer for that). Then he went to each of the advisors and offered his services in speeding along the processes of reports, dealing with anything that wasn't deemed so important that only the Inquisitor could handle it. Finally in the last move of his master plan he went to the kitchens and bribed the cook to prepare a wealth of food to be placed in the Inquisitor's quarters along with his favourite books from the library. Then he sat back in his chair and watched as the Inquisitor dragged himself back through the gates of Skyhold after scouting the surrounding area. </p><p>Given that he can't see the Inquisitor running around like usual Dorian can only assume that his plan has worked. How could it not when he had the Iron Bull on standby to carry the inquisitor to his chambers and lock him in although that plan tinges on the edge of stressful and not relaxing. </p><p>The final proof of his successful plan is received when a runner appears up the stairs of the tower. "Lord Pavus- a message for you from the Inquisitor."</p><p>"Delightful." The runner bobs her head as she passes the note, written in Frey's familiar, barely legible hand. </p><p>
  <em>Dorian, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>I am fairly sure you were the one who engineered my peace and the food. If you have time after your busy day join me please. Hiding away from the world isn't the same without you. </em>
  <br/>
  <em><strike>Inquis</strike> Frey</em>
</p><p>Dorian can only smile at the poor penmanship, and the evidence that Frey consciously decided to be Frey rather than the grand and mighty inquisitor. </p><p>After a quick preen in his own quarters Dorian heads to the Inquisitor's chambers, they are magnificent enough to match the title in every way. Although it seems a little unfair to make the inquisitor climb all the stairs of the tower just to get to bed. </p><p>At the last of the steps before the Inquisitor's door he can hear Frey's voice, not speaking or giving orders but singing. Given all the times Varric asked the elf about his singing abilities and all the times Frey told them that he sounded like a toad, it is a great surprise that his voice is actually soft and enchanting, drifting over the Elven words like water over rocks in a stream. </p><p>Dorian hesitates knocking on the door, he doesn't want the singing to stop, perhaps its an enchantment he wonders dreamily but quickly snaps out of it. <em>Frey will know I'm here.</em> He thinks. He would willingly bet his last blanket, even in this snowy hell, that the Inquisitor has managed to find the time to practise his magic sensing. </p><p>Of course the singing does stop as Dorian's knuckles clunk against the oak door. "Come in. Please." </p><p>Dorian takes the last steps into the Inquisitor's actual room slowly, taking the time to admire each detail. None of which however match the elf sitting in the corner of the room at his desk. Everything is too formal and perfect. Not beautiful and unique. "Dorian. You came!"</p><p>"Well I knew how much food was up here. I would never turn down a chance for that."</p><p>"Of course." Frey says with a smile that is just a little tired, like he can't be bothered pulling his cheek muscles up that extra bit further so Dorian would get to see those dimples. </p><p>"Are you sure you wish for company and not sleep?" </p><p>"Hmm I was going to use you to read me a bed time story. I do so like the sound of your voice."</p><p>"We have that in common then. Well use away Inquisitor I am all yours." Just one of his dimples becomes visible as the elf lets loose a little smirk, sipping the wine in front of him then leaning back in a leisurely way like a king observing his subject. </p><p>"Tempting." </p><p>Their eyes are so locked by the other’s that Dorian can scarcely bare to look away until a knock on the door pulls Frey’s gaze away as he sighs. “Alas. Another time. Come in?” </p><p>A different runner enters, bowing to the Inquisitor who acknowledges them with a tilt of the head. “Yes?” </p><p>“Apologies Lord Inquisitor, word from the Orlesian court. They said it had to come directly to you.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Wordlessly he reaches for the note and smiles as the runner leaves quickly. </p><p>Dorian sighs, plucking the note from his fingers. “Inquisitor it can wait until morning. You’re exhausted.” </p><p>“Dorian-“ </p><p>“Inquisitor.” Frey holds his gaze again for a few seconds, his jaw clenched in a stubbornness that is almost unmatched before he slumps back in his seat and rests his hand on his forehead. </p><p>“Call me Frey- please. Lest one day I truly forget it’s my name.” </p><p>“Of course. I didn’t realise that distressed you.” </p><p>Frey just lets out a laugh and shakes his head. “On the list of actual problems it’s at the very bottom. It’s just- every day I feel further from my clan. Forget being Frey Lavellan, now I am Inquisitor Lavellan and gradually I will just be Inquisitor. A title not a man. And certainly not an elf.” </p><p>“Your clan will always be waiting for you when this is over.” </p><p>Freys jaw seems to clench unwittingly as he looks down. “They wrote to ask for help. Bandits- I…I’m scared the people I sent won’t make it in time. But what can I do from across an ocean but wait.”</p><p>“Is this why you’ve been running yourself ragged?” </p><p>“Partly. But now I’ve started it- now people expect it of me and I couldn’t escape. Until you intervened- Thank you. Really.” </p><p>“You are most welcome. Do tell me when you find out about your clan.” Frey nods, beginning to pick at his food and Dorian takes the gesture from his hand as an invitation to join him in eating so several minutes pass in relative silence as they eat their fill. </p><p>After clearing his plate to the side Frey stands and says, “I wasn’t joking about reading me a book .” </p><p>“I know. Shall I pick a story or do you have something in mind?” </p><p>Frey picks through the books he has in his room then passes a small one over with a deep blue cover. </p><p>With both of them sitting on the large white sofa off to the side of the room, and Frey sitting with his entire body wrapped in a blanket, Dorian begins to read the book, keeping his voice steady as he can see the elf gradually start to drop off and slump further and further into the cushions until he is asleep. </p><p>Without a noise, Dorian places the book down on the table and gets up, twisting Frey by the shoulders so he is lying down then ensuring he is fully covered by the blanket. “Sleep well… Amatus.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Amatus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After their argument about Frey's retrieval of Dorian's amulet, Dorian realises his mistakes and goes to the Inquisitor's quarters to apologise, only to find the elf grieving for the loss of Clan Lavellan. Throwing everything aside the mage spends hours just cuddling the elf. Not the start of a relationship he imagined but as they go, not the worst.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not exactly any moments of peace here but it needed to be done.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After seeing his father again and that kiss from Frey, Dorian knows he intended to drink himself into a stupor but he just can't, because he doesn't want to take away even one second of the memories from that kiss. <em>That kiss</em>. He'll be remembering that kiss for decades to come. The way Frey's small hands gripped at the cloth at his waist, how the skin of his face felt under Dorian's hands. That little smile after. As Frey stepped away Dorian just wanted to grab him back in for another kiss but the Inquisitor is a busy man. </p><p>So as Frey ran off to discuss the Veil with Solas, Dorian sits back in his chair, a barely touched glass of wine in his hand as he reminisses over all those smiles and the never subtle glances. He'd never fallen in love with anyone long before a first kiss and now after it he contemplates the fact he may never fall out of it. How can he feel so strongly for a man? How can it be right? How long will it last?</p><p>
  <em>How long will it last?</em>
</p><p>A pit of dread spreads through Dorian's stomach as he thinks of the possibility of Frey one day saying it can go no further. Of him laughing and saying it was all just fun. </p><p>Frey is not like that. </p><p>But aren't they all at the start?</p><p>He can still hear Frey's voice in the tower below but now he imagines the same voice breaking his heart. </p><p>
  <em>Stop it. </em>
</p><p>The doubting voice in his head sounds just like his father. That man who would never let him be happy. But he is in Ferelden now, hundreds and hundreds of miles from Tevintar, even his father's reach is not that far. </p><p>And Frey is different. </p><p>Dorian has never seen the elf show fear at the thought of being different. This is the elf who saved the Redcliffe mages and gave them a home. The elf who willingly tried to sacrifice his life for Haven. He would never feel fear for the opinion of others. Dorian hopes. </p><p>Just days later Dorian sits with his family amulet in his hand, a 'gift' from Frey who somehow found out about it and within a few days he had negotiated the amulet back, or so Josephine alluded to. Remembering his angry words to Frey about the gift, and Frey's indignigant, 'I thought you'd be pleased.' </p><p>Dorian's stomach turns. What an idiot he is. A selfish, ungrateful idiot. </p><p>In the end it was Dorian's voice that broke Frey's heart, he should have always seen that coming. </p><p>In a sudden motion that startles five crows, Fiona and even Solas down below Dorian gets up, putting on the amulet and running down the stairs. "Solas, have you seen Lavellan running around anywhere?"</p><p>"I don't have windows Dorian..."</p><p>"Useless!" </p><p>The next in line is Varric who is trying to write but ends up getting ink spotched all over the page at Dorian's dramatic arrival into the hall. "Varric. Lavellan- left or right?"</p><p>After the initial shock of Dorian's arrival Varric chuckles, "He's in his quarters sparkler." </p><p>Dorian takes the stairs two at a time all the way up Frey's tower, knocking on the door but not waiting for an answer as he finishes the steps. Frey himself is sitting at his desk, blinking those big brown eyes in a startled surprise at Dorian's rather loud, unexpected entrance. </p><p>"Dorian?"</p><p>"I'm sorry- I'm sorry. I was- am an arse. I apologise- and thank you." </p><p>Frey smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and the pit of fear is back in Dorian's stomach trying to claw up his throat. Then he notices the tears in Frey's eyes and he wants to cry himself. </p><p>"Frey you're- are you? I'm sorry."</p><p>The inquisitor clears his throat, ducking his head and wiping his eyes then says, "Don't worry these aren't for you. I knew you'd come around eventually." </p><p>"Then why- what's wrong?" </p><p>Dorian's voice gets quiet as he sees the tear stained letter in Frey's left hand and the elf's own voice breaks as he says, "I heard back from the Free Marches." </p><p>"Oh no."</p><p>Frey takes in a deep breath of air then exhales it, dropping the letter onto his desk. </p><p>"The people I sent were too slow. By the time they arrived Clan Lavellan was wiped out. Anyone who lived has vanished, but out there alone they won't last long. Dalish never last long alone." </p><p>"Oh Frey." </p><p>Without any prompting the elf leaves his desk and thuds into Dorian's arms, sobs ripping from him like the cries of a wounded animal. "There amatus, I'm here. I'm here." Dorian has never comforted anyone before, its unfamiliar. But he's glad he's there. So glad. </p><p>All he can see of the elf is that glossy hair and the tips of his ears, the rest of his face is stuffed into the neckline of Dorian's robes which are gradually becoming wet with tears. </p><p><em>Dalish never last long alone.</em> </p><p>That was pointed in more ways than one. Because here Frey is, so far from home, alone surrounded by humans and elves who seem to hate elves. And now he has no clan to go back to. He truly is alone. </p><p>Does Frey think he won't last long? Dorian would never let that happen. Never. Already he is trying to think up a plan to find the remaining elves of clan lavellan. Perhaps he could ask his father to send people. Ask his father? That doesn't sound good... But if owing one small favour to him would get Frey's family back. It would be worth it. </p><p>Still swaying Frey back and forth Dorian sits on the edge of the bed, its surprisingly uncomfortable given the luxury of the quarters but he gives it no mention. He awkwardly lifts one hand to pat the top of Frey's head but the action seems too stupid and in no way comforting so he drops his hand again to rest on the elf's back, rubbing up and down softly which seems to calm his cries just slightly. </p><p>They spend hours sitting like that, Dorian's back hurting with the effort of remaining upright, just so Frey has something to lean on, and yet he doesn't say a word of it. The thought of complaining doesn't even cross his mind like it would have even a day beforehand. </p><p>The sun has long since gone down when Frey sits up a little, sitting forward and wiping his eyes then letting out a little laugh. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Don't be." </p><p>"I wasted so much time crying my advisors will kill me."</p><p>"I'll summon a spirit on them if they so much as think about telling you off. You need time to grieve. Even an inquisitor needs that." </p><p>"I made your robes soggy."</p><p>"Think nothing of it. This one was going out of style anyway." </p><p>"Well then I probably saved you then. My mages can never be seen in passé clothes. You can thank me by fruit basket." Even in joking Frey's voice is weak and Dorian can see it as his defence from more tears but he doesn't wish to poke the badly built dam now. </p><p>"How did the fires get lit- were there servants here- oh no there's going to be rumours about the sobbing inquisitor now. Cullen will kill me if it wrecks morale I should go and-"</p><p>"Frey- amatus hush. I locked the door with magic and I've learnt a few fire spells in my time, enough to light a fireplace at least." </p><p>"Did I ever tell you, you are amazing?"</p><p>"A few times but I always like to hear it. Come you need some food in you." </p><p>Dorian is happy enough to sit with an arm around Frey's back in the empty dining hall as the elf takes small mouthfuls of soup. </p><p>"Dorian?" Dorian's focus is pulled from just how incredibly fond he is of the elf to said elf. </p><p>"Yes amatus?"</p><p>"Thank you." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Art of Seduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dorian is treating Frey with a little too much care after the death of his clan so Frey takes it into his own hands to seduce Dorian into intimacy.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm too awkward to right actual smut... sorry :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the weeks after the loss of clan Lavellan, Frey gradually recovers, day by day his smile is a little less forced and the tears that glaze his eyes from time to time pass. It quickly became apparent to Dorian that Frey had told no one by the advisor who reported it to him and of course Dorian. He supposes it is easier this way, without the pitying looks or the hesitant conversation. It does mean however Dorian has to refrain from doting on his Amatus any more than usual. </p><p>However Dorian’s unwillingness to peruse a more intimate relationship because of the Inquisitor’s grief gradually becomes obvious. </p><p>In a typical evening, when they are not journeying Thedas, they will spend a few hours together in Frey’s quarters with Dorian pouring over his books and ancient texts whilst Frey sits at his desk, his hand a constant whir of motion as he signs off reports and writes more. </p><p>That however is a typical evening and Frey seemingly has plans for a less than typical evening as upon Dorian’s arrival he is greeted by candles and rose petals and a steaming bath that already has Frey in it. </p><p>The elf has his hair piled up on the top of his head in what is meant to appear as last minute but Dorian knows the elf well enough to know he’s spent some amount of time on it. The elf’s entire torso is the same tanned complexion as his face, unmarred aside from a single long scar that crosses from his left shoulder to mid spine, the colour and depth matching the familiar scar that crosses the elf’s eye to his cheek.</p><p>Aside from dropping two of his books in what can only be described as a smooth, unbothered move, Dorian freezes, looking back to the door because he’s gradually given up knocking and now he wonders if he should have. “Should I come back I didn’t mean to interrupt.” </p><p>But Frey just laughs. “Dorian this was all meant to seduce you it’s alright. But if you do want to go obviously that’s fine.”</p><p>"If I ever say no to this, just do me a favour and push me off the balcony."   </p><p>"No I like your pretty face." </p><p>"So selfish." </p><p>"Are you going to flirt or join me?" </p><p>"Well as much as I like the view from here. I am going to take the joining you option." Frey smiles, wriggling forward in the bath to make room as Dorian hastily unbuckles all the straps on his robes, cursing his choice to wear this particular robe and eventually getting fed up and struggling it over his head. Frey lets out a giggle then offers out a hand for Dorian to lean on as he steps into the bath behind Frey, his hands sliding over his wet skin and then pressing a series of kisses down Frey's spine, chasing water droplets as he goes.  </p><p>"You know as the art of seduction goes, you're pretty good."</p><p>"Hmm one of the main Dalish teachings is how to seduce Shems, I was considered the best in my clan-" Dorian's hands freeze on his hips and Frey snorts with laughter. "Dorian I'm kidding. I read a book." </p><p>"Reading all by yourself. I'm proud." </p><p>"Well Varric read it for me-" Dorian's hands freeze again. </p><p>"Dorian I'm kidding. You're very gullible tonight ma'vhenan." </p><p>"Seeing naked inquisitors will do that. You should come with a warning." Frey turns his head so their lips can meet in a messy kiss. "What does ma'vhenan mean? Did I say it right?"</p><p>"Yes, your pronunciation is halfway decent. Have you been talking to Solas?"</p><p>“Yes because that always goes well. Last time we argued about vallaslin for an hour.” </p><p>“Your argued about vallaslin?” Frey asks, his voice hinting amusement but also confusion.</p><p>“Solas disapproves of vallaslin. I approve of vallaslin, they’re part of you, they tie you to your culture. And if you care enough to get them tattooed in with your own blood, they're important.”</p><p>“You argued with Solas about Elven culture for me?” Now Frey’s voice is softer, one of his hands holding Dorian’s own against his chest. </p><p>"Of course. I treasure you. <em>Exactly</em> the way you are. And it is my mission to at least make Solas appreciate that." </p><p> “Ma'vhenan means my heart. How about Amatus?"  He finishes with a head tilt corresponding to his question. </p><p>Leaning in closer Dorian replies in a whisper close to his ear.  "Beloved." </p><p>They fall into silence as Frey leans back against Dorian's chest, his head resting back on Dorian's shoulder as the mage's hands dance over his skin under the warm water. Frey is quiet aside from little gasps, his own fingers running up and down Dorian's thighs. </p><p>He is so quiet, even in intimacy and in a far off thought Dorian wonders if it is the reserve he was taught as the keeper's first or the control he's had to adopt from the role of Inquisitor. Either way Dorian's focus is not particularly on the inner working's of his lover's mind, what with the naked elf in his arms. </p><p>Gradually they make their way from the bath to the bed, with a slight dalliance on the cold stone floor first but Dorian sorted that by lifting the elf up and (very carefully) tossing him onto the bed then crowding over him and working his way down the elf's body with kisses.</p><p>Its not exactly what Dorian would call a mission to make the elf loud but he can't help but feel an extra curl of satisfaction when Frey cries out his name into the night. </p><p> Their night finishes, hours after it began with Dorian lying on his back, Frey curled at his side and a single blanket very haphazardly covering both. Absentmindedly Dorian hopes no messenger, or advisor, comes for the inquisitor now as they would certainly get an eyeful. </p><p>Dorian glances down at the elf who has finished catching his breath and now just lies, tracing patterns across Dorian's chest. In watching him Dorian can see the elf is tracing something not dissimilar to the vallaslin on his own face. </p><p>"Are you asking for Mythal's blessing?" With a sleepy glance to Dorian, Frey shakes his head, pressing a kiss across Dorian's chest, over his heart then leaning back a bit, testing the constraint of Dorian's arm behind him. "Its an old prayer, for luck in the love you seek. Although I'm fairly sure it is used to ask for luck in fertility but I had to improvise. They don't exactly teach you prayers for the love of another man." </p><p>"Is it not accepted then? This?" Frey wrinkles his nose then sighs, </p><p>"Not by the Dalish traditional way, no. We live for survival, not pleasure. My keeper though, she told me as long as I found happiness it would be welcomed with their love. Not that it matters now." Dorian's hand finds his and Frey smiles, "I'm alright. So, what about you- in Tevintar is this normal?" </p><p>"Anything between men is about pleasure, it's accepted but taken no further. You learn not to hope for more." Dorian glances down at Frey again who's focus appears to be on their intertwined hands. "I'm curious where this goes you and I. We've had fun, perfectly reasonable to leave it here-" </p><p>Frey sits up quickly with a frown, his hand holding Dorian's tighter now, "Is that what you want?"</p><p>"No- No of course not amatus." </p><p>"This is more than just fun. Its been more than that for weeks ma'vhenan. You're more than that." </p><p>"In entire honesty, those are words I never thought I'd hear." Frey's smile is soft and his eyes radiate that warmth that captured Dorian all those weeks ago in Haven. </p><p>"Ar lath ma, vhenan." </p><p>"What?"</p><p>With a sleepy, yet definitely cheeky smile Frey snuggles into Dorian's chest and closes his eyes, "Ask Solas." </p><p>"I changed my mind about this whole relationship thing." </p><p>Without lifting his head from Dorian's chest Frey mutters, "No you haven't."  </p><p>A quick glance over their bodies which are pressed close together not an inch of space between them and Frey's hand on his has Dorian smiling. "No I haven't." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Ar Lath ma'vhenan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cole, being Cole, digs too far into Frey's head and finds a thought that worries Dorian into talking to him about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Given Frey's strained relationship with Solas over their differences in Elvenness and Vivienne's blatant loathing of his decision to free the Redcliff mages, it was hardly surprising to Dorian that Frey always brought him along on his travels, he did that long before they became amatus and ma'vhenan. He could hardly complain, that's why he joined the inquisition and now he gets the added bonus of sneaking into Frey's tent at night and testing the elf's restraint in making noise. </p><p>Whilst Dorian is a constant in Frey's company they cycle through the others, Cassandra and Sera often accompany them because Frey likes letting Cassandra take charge on occasion and Sera keeps them all grounded. Cole however is a rare feature to the party, partly because Frey struggles finding him in Skyhold before most missions and for the other reason that he always tries to dip into Frey's head which usually leaves the elf in a huff that Dorian has to fix. </p><p>However on a particular trip to the Storm Coast that requires Cole's unique skills, they are trekking through the sodden forestland when the spirit pipes up, "Warm, he's warm. And smiles. Rose petals. He smells like rain. He's no Ellis."</p><p>Instantly Dorian is trying to figure out who's mind the spirit is in, not his own for a start, he wasn't thinking at all about rose petals or smiles or  an Ellis, really he was thinking about his chair in the library.  The question is answered when sharply from the front of the group Frey says. "Cole. My head. Out." </p><p>"Your head confuses me."</p><p>"I know that's why I told you to stay out of it!" </p><p>"Why do you hold in so much. The thoughts are crashing about, hurting, aching. You are scared and-"</p><p>"Cole! I said enough!" All three of his companions look at him with startled surprise, Frey has never so much as lost his temper, he's never anything but positive, even when the worst does happen. For him to shout is about as likely for him to not take Dorian on a trip. </p><p>Frey's just huffs as the anger recedes then says, "Cole we're only going to be here for another day, and for that day you're not going to go into my head. Deal?" </p><p>Like the mother hen he is Dorian is instantly worrying, what thoughts does Frey have that hurt and ache? The loss of Clan Lavellan? Perhaps Cole does know about that. </p><p>But gradually a more worry thought, to Dorian at least, creeps up. Rose petals, warmth and smiles. Dorian is confident enough to know that is about him. But who is Ellis? And why is Dorian not him? Is he not good enough? Is he just a substitute for an absent love? </p><p>What with the presence of a giant in their way, much of his thinking time is interrupted so he has planned no further in asking Frey about this Ellis when they stop for the night. The elf has been silent since his outburst, even as the giant fell he just nodded then walked away so it is hardly a surprise that he is gone from the camp the second the food is finished. </p><p>It is his singing that leads Dorian to him, beautiful and drifting but haunting, the song he sings now is sadder and Dorian sorely wishes he could understand it. </p><p>Frey himself is sitting on a rock twice his height, his back to Dorian as he stares up at the stars. His voice never wavers or pitches, its enchanting... Perhaps there is a magic in it. Without too much worry about the elf knowing of his presence Dorian sits and listens as the song almost seamlessly changes into the same one Frey sang in Skyhold, or perhaps they were always the same song. </p><p>The sudden stop of singing is like a jolt back to reality which leaves Dorian reeling for a second as Frey says, without turning his head, "I always knew I'd make a good siren." </p><p>"You always tell Varric you can't sing."</p><p>"I didn't want to sing my songs in front of people."</p><p>"Sorry I-"</p><p>"You don't count."</p><p>"Thank you?"</p><p>"I mean- I don't mind that you hear. I imagine you have questions."</p><p>"A few. Are you alright? What Cole said about hurting and being scared?"</p><p>"The overwhelming pressure of being Inquisitor."</p><p>"And..."</p><p>"Ellis."</p><p>"Who is he? Why am I not him? Am I not enough- is it because I'm human- because I'm tevintar. Because I'm too attractive." Dorian throws that last one in as a defence from his fear and Frey sees through it because he climbs down from his rock to cup Dorian's cheek. "You're enough. You're everything." </p><p>"Then who-"</p><p>"Ellis was my first love. Or what I thought was love. It was horrible, vicious betrayal actually. You are no Ellis because you make me feel safe and warm. When I'm with you I feel more powerful than the title of Inquisitor has ever made me." </p><p>"So in fact, Ellis is no me?" Frey laughs, resting his head against Dorian's chest. </p><p>"No one is. As Cassandra is thankful for."</p><p>"She's coming round to me." </p><p>Frey scrunches up his face and draws out his, "Yes." Just long enough for Dorian to know that the seeker is probably not coming round to him, disadvantaged by the fact he is stealing away the Inquisitor's honour piece by piece.</p><p>"Is that why you are scared though? You're scared I'll betray you?" </p><p>"No- that's the point, I'm not scared. Not of you. You're Dorian." </p><p>"What did he do? If I can ask-"</p><p>"Traded me to slavers." </p><p>"He what?!" Dorian all but screeches and several birds fly away whilst Frey winces. </p><p>"Its not bad enough to warrant causing glass to splinter ma'vhenan."</p><p>"He traded you."</p><p>"Tried. I killed them. I started my career in wandering the countryside killing random strangers early. That's how I got the scars." </p><p>Instinctively Dorian touches the one over Frey's eye, feeling the elf's long eyelashes flutter under his fingers.  "He was promised a lot of reward if he lured an elf to them and he did, delivered me right to their palms. Either he didn’t realise how powerful my magic was or they didn’t.” </p><p>“How old were you?” </p><p>“16. Anyway I ran back to camp covered in blood and screaming at him. It was quite a scene.” </p><p>“Did he die?”</p><p>“Not by us directly. He was exiled. But we heard news of his death a few months later.”</p><p>Dorian rests his head on top of Frey’s and the elf just leans in, his hands sliding around the mage’s waist so he can hold onto him. </p><p>“Ar lath ma’vhenan.” </p><p>“So you say but I still have no idea what it means.” </p><p>“Do you really have no clue?” </p><p>“Well I know ma’vhenan means my heart but the rest?” </p><p>Frey just pats his waist as he pulls away, going up on his tiptoes to kiss Dorian's cheek as he whispers, "I love you." He smiles at Dorian's startled expression, knocking their foreheads together gently then saying softly. "You don't have to say it back." </p><p>"I've been saying it in my head for months. I'm glad you've finally caught up."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Fears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Dorian gets hurt fighting a pride demon, Frey's fears come out but Dorian soothes over them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Whilst Dorian knows the risks of travelling through land rivetted with templars, apostates, darkspawn, demons and bandits but somehow he never imagined the risk would come to himself. </p><p>The are fighting a pride demon that has emerged from a rift in the Western Approach, Frey flitting between the lesser demons using his fade step and Cassandra is busy battling a rage demon so none of them can warn him about the pride demon that comes up behind him and lashes its lightening whips straight down on Dorian. Over the overwhelming pain and the smell of a lightening storm he can hear Frey shout, "Dorian!"</p><p>In an appearance graced by the smell of smoke that often clings to Frey after spell casting he is my Dorian's side. "Dorian- ma'vhenan- hold on you'll be fine, you'll be fine." After the initial pain has passed and the shock has cleared from his mind he realises it isn't as bad as he thought, nor as bad as Frey seems to think it is. </p><p>"Amatus its alright." He breathes out through clenched teeth but Frey isn't listening, using his cooling magic to wipe over the burns caused by the whips. </p><p>"Amatus."</p><p>Frey just shakes his head, without even moving an inch of his body a strong barrier forms around them once again making Dorian question just the amount of power his lover has.</p><p>“Frey. It’s alright. I’m alright. Frey.” The elf finally makes eye contact with him and pauses but then shakes his head, searching in his belt for a healing potion. </p><p>“Inquisitor seal the rift!” Cassandra shouts over, “before more come through!” </p><p>Frey doesn’t reply but without even looking he flings out his hand behind him and the sparks of green connect with it, the humming of the rift becoming louder until the pop and the rift decapitates. </p><p>With his always gentle but very strong hands Frey helps Dorian sit up, his fingers squeezing around Dorian's arm. "Vhenan?"  </p><p>"I'm fine amatus, a bit of rest, some good wine, I'll be on my feet again by morning." </p><p>"Dorian-"</p><p>"Hush amatus, help me up." With a mildly annoyed look Frey helps him to his feet and lifts Dorian's arm over his shoulder. </p><p>Whilst Dorian doesn't think it is entirely needed for his ability to walk, Frey's support is welcome and eases the ache that has taken hold of his body so he leans on the smaller man all the way back to the closest camp where Frey instantly makes him lie down in the tent and gives him bottle after bottle of potion which Dorian places to the side then catches Frey's hand. "Amatus stay still." </p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Amatus, I can go to sleep a lot quicker when there is not a small blur of motion next to me." Frey freezes where he is then slumps back and sits down. "Sorry. Sleep vhenan." </p><p>When Dorian wakes it is dark out but Frey is sitting by him, a pile of reports spread across his lap but he isn't looking at them, instead staring out the slightly open tent flap into the night. Before Dorian gets a chance to talk to him Cassandra enters, ignoring Frey's signal to be quiet as she starts saying, "Inquisitor there's a rift to the north, the three of us need to go close it, its already spawned a pride demon."</p><p>"What about Dorian?"</p><p>"He said himself he's fine. Just let him sleep it off." </p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Inquisitor if you pardon my saying, is this the first time someone you love has got hurt?” </p><p>“I’m young not naïve Cassandra. I know he’s going to be fine I just- I worry about him. I do apologise for my caring.”</p><p>“You’re the Inquisitor. You alone have the power to close rifts. I’m sure Dorian wouldn’t want you to let demons roam Thedas because he got slightly electrified.” </p><p>“She’s right you know.” Dorian says, squeezing Frey’s hand who turns to glare at him. “I’m perfectly fine amatus. I can’t even feel it anymore. Now please go seal the rift before the demons come and hit me again.”</p><p>“Why can’t someone else do it.” Frey mutters moodily to himself, whilst getting up and swiping his staff off the ground and stalking out the tent whilst Cassandra calls after him. “Because none of us have a glowing green mark on their hand!”  </p><p>Dorian is sitting up against the tent when Frey returns and tosses his staff down then sighs, "Are you alright?" He asks, a hand that is splattered with demon blood reaches out and cups Dorian's cheek. </p><p>"Amatus, truly I'm fine. Or I will be when you wash." Frey gives him a long suffering look then stalks out the tent again, returning minutes later dripping water and smelling like lavender. </p><p>"...Did you just jump in the pond?" </p><p>"...Yes. And then Cassandra told me I still smelled like nug poo and poured lavender oil in my hair." </p><p>"Remind me to thank her later." </p><p>Without another word the elf begins to strip off his armour and like he does every night Dorian takes stock of the bruises mottling that perfect skin. Thankfully there are no more than two additional ones and he's certain one is from Cassandra hitting the Inquisitor in the ribs when he was being cheeky earlier. </p><p>The silence between them is harsh and tense as Frey lies down, still close to Dorian, probably for warmth but he makes no effort for conversation. Quietly Dorian looks over the tightness in his shoulders and how his hands are clenched where they rest up near his head. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>There is a long pause then Frey mumbles, "No." </p><p>"Shall we talk in the morning when you've slept on it." Frey doesn't reply, the muscles of his back tensing under his skin before he gets up and pulls on his undershirt. "Frey." </p><p>"I should sleep elsewhere, I don't want to encroach on your space, you're still healing." In a fluid movement Dorian catches Frey's leg and brings him back down onto the bedroll, holding onto the elf who is squirming on his chest. "Dorian!" </p><p>"Amatus look at me I'm fine. Now what's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing I'm fine." </p><p>"I'm not letting you go until you tell me. And I'm weak and injured." Frey fixes him with a glaring look then thuds his head back down to rest on Dorian's chest. </p><p>"When I saw you fall. All I could think was 'I can't lose him, I can't lose another thing.' I don't think I could keep going if I lost you." </p><p>"I know you could." Frey shakes his head, the soft silky strands tickling across Dorian's cheek. "Frey listen. You survived a long time before me. I'm positive that you could survive after." </p><p>Frey lifts his head, staring into Dorian's almost crystal blue eyes. Softly he thumbs over Dorian's cheek, "You underestimate your value in this world. Which is shocking really given your lack of humbleness. And its not about survival its... I would survive yes. But... To lead the inquisition? To defeat Corypheus? I don't know if I could. I love you. Please don't make me live in a world without you." </p><p>"I will endeavour to try. If you give me the same promise." Frey is silent for a second prompting Dorian to squeeze his hip.</p><p>"Do you think I will survive this? I'm just an elf and he's a god."</p><p>"He's an over-arrogant Tevintar magister. I'd say you've got a head start of experience there." </p><p>"You're not a magister." </p><p>"That wasn't the part to argue amatus." With a fond smile Dorian kisses the top of Frey's head then rests his hand on the elf's back as they lapse into silence. </p><p>Dorian checks the elf's face, Frey isn't sleeping, his eyes glazed off into a faraway world and Dorian lets him be, observing the dark circles under his eyes, the slightly pasty complexion to his tanned skin. Their lives are a far reach from the short months ago when Dorian first gazed upon the elf in Haven, yet that innocence still clings to Frey's nature, a tiny piece of light that shines through the dark in Dorian's world.</p><p>"I love you." He says into the silence and a larger smile spreads across Frey's face. "When we get back to Skyhold I'm going to pamper you amatus."</p><p>"I'll have Josephine schedule it in."</p>
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